Monday, February 22, 2016

You’ve never seen your own face. It takes a mirror to get a clean shave.

By Mike Valentine, On Purpose Now

Men can be by nature a “do it yourselfer”.  When it comes to problems we face in life there is often the question of “why can’t I just fix this myself”? The truth is we can. 

Many conventional methods of support for men actually turn men off.  There is an underlying and unspoken assumption we can’t solve things our self.  This undermines a man’s very nature as a producer, provider, and creator of life. 

Every man has a Gift to give, a Purpose to live and a Vision he’d build of a better self and world.  If he is told he is broken and can only be fixed by some other person, how can he find his Creative Self - build his confidence and fulfill his mission?  He can’t.  Rather, he starts to invest his faith in neediness and becomes repulsed of what he believes he has become.  Looking outside for what can only be found within is fools game.   Any sensible man knows you can’t get eggs at a dairy farm.  What he learns of himself looking for power, where there is none, is that he is foolish.  “Support” that teaches a man he is irrevocably needy disempowers him.  Most men know this deep in their hearts.

As a Life Purpose guide, I am often asked, “who needs a life coach”?  The truth is no one needs one.  What a man needs is inside him.  Your Purpose, if you aspire and commit to living it, will lead you to it, reveal itself to you, and direct you to the resources to make it happen.  It is already there, right under your nose.  If you have a good woman she is probably screaming at you “LOOK – IT IS RIGHT THERE!”

This is where it can get tricky.  Think about this for just a moment.  You have never seen your own face directly.  In order to see your face you have to use a mirror.  For most men their Gift, Purpose and Vision are a lot like this.  We’ve spent so much attention trying to measure up (for our dad, women, or other men) we can’t see our inherent nature as a creative resource for life.  Much like a fish doesn’t know and can’t see what water is, most men can’t see their real strength and power without a mirror or having someone help them look from outside the water.

As men, our interest is in the shortest path from point A to B.  If told we are broken and can’t make it, we will go it alone even if it means we have no back-up or support.  On the other hand, if we are shown a way to move with clarity, power and speed, we are eager to harness any measure of support, even if help is needed facing personal or emotional challenges.  We need only see how asking for help will lead us to the true strength inside and help us succeed in our purpose.  It is important to discern if help enables our neediness or empowers our true self.  When it empowers us from the inside out it leads us to our strength and helps us to live and express as the real men we are.


About the Author. Mike Valentine is Life Purpose Guide and pioneer of discovering and living On Purpose Now. Amidst dark shadows of life defining challenges, Mike Valentine activates the transformative power of Purpose to produce real results. With a strong backbone, kind heart, and direct approach, he has professionally coached people from all walks of life.  He has invested over 20,000 hours developing leaders, and scaled the ladder in three industries. His experience as an entrepreneur and corporate executive balance his training as a leader. In his own journey, Mike has 25 years of studying and practicing disciplines East and West, integrating physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual practices to pioneer his unique role as a Life Purpose Guide.  He loves to work with a direct approach and personal touch.  To schedule a Life Purpose consultation, call or email him directly at 303 842 6020. You can also visit to learn more.